They say that breaking up is hard to do / Now I know, I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end / Instead of breaking up, I wish that we were making up again
~ "Breaking Up is Hard to Do," version by The Carpenters
--- Forgive me for a repost of a message I wrote on another site, but it fit in really well here!
(See "What series are you breaking up with this fall?" for the premise of this letter)
Dear Studio 60,
I tried to love you. I wanted to love you. But deep down, it's just because I was so in love with your older brother for seven years, and when he left me, I thought we could keep it all in the family. But you're trying too hard to be like him, and you don't have it in you.
I could excuse your superficiality -- after all, you're up front about it and make all those cute self-deprecating jokes. The thing is, self-deprecating only is cute and romantic when the other person knows you're better than your jokes make you seem. So far, you're exactly what you pretend not to think you are.
You even copy his ideas and try to live his life. That little problem you had with the judge in Nevada? He did it better when he bailed out the Supreme Court Justice-to-be and told me about it in flashbacks while addressing a student crowd. When you tell his stories, you look like a wannabe who can only draw in disposable cartoon strips what he painted in vivid detail. I'm supposed to believe your friend Jack got to be a network president while being stupid enough as to joke about buying the judge a boat with his American Express? Your buddy Harriet isn't anywhere near as good a defender of the faith as our gal Ainsley was of her politics, nor even as good as the Kristin C. Christian that Harriet would like to become one day.
Even your attempts at fast, witty dialogue just remind me how much better at this your brother was. I'd rather just gather all my home movies of him and watch them between my dates with "The Nine" and "Heroes" -- at least hanging out with them I hear intelligent stories about believably diverse people. (It's sad, isn't it, that stories about people with magic superpowers are more believable than yours?) I'm even experimenting with "Ugly Betty" these days... so we'll see you around.
P.S. Do stay sober, honey, because it'll still give you a much better chance of finding the right one for you next time around.